The Revolution Will Be Televised, Part 2

 

When we last left our intrepid heroes, they were facing off against their most formidable enemy yet.

Loki.  With an elf, a fuzzy kitty, a twinkie and a midget.

 

"Stand BACK citizens!  The Batman will protect the city of Columbus!"

 

"Check out my cool Batarang!  Isn't it like looking into the face of God?  Surrender now, vile w-"

 



 

"NO CAPES!"

 

"I like this chick's style.  But listen toots, you can't continue like this.  But to show there's no hard feelings, I'll save you for last."

 

"C'MERE, BANANA BOY!!!"

 

"Oooo, Banana?"

 

PEW!

 

 

PEW!

 

PEW!

 

"Buhhhhhh..."

 

PEW!!!!!

 

"AH!  HAT! HATTTT!"

 

 

"Looks like you haven't improved your army very much since the last time I saw you."

 

"On the contrary, I have my own Hulk now.  SULLY!"

 

"Loki, I don't know how to tell you this man, but..."

 

"I'm out."

 

"You're WHAT?"

 

"I said I'm out.  These are the good guys.  I gave up my scaring days a long time ago."

 

"Peace out, ain't no thing but a chicken wing, playa."

 

"Oh goddammit-JINGLES!"

 

 

"Get...THE DEVICE."

 

(Barely) a PEW.

 

"JESUS CHRIST I'LL GET IT MYSELF!!!"

 

"Alright then, noble guardians of Earth.  Say your last goodbyes.  With this device, your precious planet will no longer be under your control!"

 

"Yes, with this gleaming silver device, everyone who loves you will now despise you, while all their adoration will turn to ME!  What a gloriously simple way to defeat you!"

 

"Um, no offense Loki ole pal, but I think we have company."

 

The ground trembled as a bright, golden spray of sparks shot from the sky.  Who could it be?  Thor come to reign in his brother once more?  But wait, that is no man...

 

 

"I...am...SHEEEEEEEEEEEE-RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"  *cue theme music*

 

"I am She-Ra, Defender of Eternia, and YOU Loki...have been a bad, bad boy."

 

"She-Ra???  Who the hell are you?  I've never heard of you!"

 

"That's nothing a good old-fashioned bitch slap won't cure, Prince."

 

"Ughh...ok...maybe it rings a bell..."

 

"Much better.  Now, I will be taking this device back home to Eternia with me.  Me and my brother will figure out how to diffuse it, which after that I will turn it into a fashionable footstool for my boudoir.  Oh, and Loki?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Don't worry, my brother's hot too.  We all have urges.  At least you aren't related to yours."

 

"Now LEAVE!  BE GONE!  AND NEVER RETURN!!!"

 

"I CAN'T leave, the Lady Stephanie is my...I believe the colloquial term is, 'ride.'"

 

"Ow, shit..."

 

"You are under lockdown whilst remaining in the city of Columbus.  You are only to venture out under express permission of the Lady Stephanie.  Do you understand?"

 

*grumblings*

 

"Why must someone ALWAYS kick my ass?"

 







"I think I'll just...stay out here for a bit.  Give myself a breather..."

 

I always knew that She-Ra was my hero.

 

THE END

 

The Revolution Will Be Televised, Part 1

One fateful evening in Columbus, Ohio, as I tried ever so valiantly to relax and not chase a little green hobgoblin around the Buckeye State, Tony Starch, Mash Smith (AKA the 11th Doctor,) and The Dark Tater were having a chat.

 

Tony: "So, what do you fellas say to grabbing a drink to ring in the New Year?"

Mash: "A banana daiquiri does sound good..."

Dark Tater: "Black coffee.  I live the night.  I am the night.  I protect-"

Tony: "The night.  We get it, Bat Boy."

 

When up on the roof, there arose such a clatter, they ran from their corner of the table to see what was the matter!

 

 

"What..."

 

 

"The..."

 

 

"FUCK."

 

They huddled together in tense anticipation, waiting for another sound, another clue to see if it was friend or foe.  "Maybe it was just old Saint Nick, chaps!  Dropping in for a belated visit!  I do hope he got me that pony from my list."

 

"Look, he must have dropped some candy for our stockings!"

 

 

"Doctor, I don't know if this is such a good idea..."





 

"Hello, boys.  Remember me?"

 

"Loki of Asgard!  I haven't seen you since you were a pup.  Big fan of your work, misguided as it is.  I know you mean well.  And brilliant trick you have there, falling through jagged rifts in space and coming out breathing on the other end."

 

"But I must apologize, where are my manners!  I'm the Doctor, in case the face confused you.  And I simply can't let you continue with whatever terrible plan you have cooking in that frosty skull of yours."

 

"Back off, Doc.  If anyone's taking this guy down, it's me."

 

"Oh, Mr. Stark.  Such a treat to see you again.  And you already have your suit on this time.  How convenient for you, since your Hulk isn't here to save you."

 

"Look.  I don't want to hurt you.  But you're too big of a pain in the ass.  If you have anything funny planned, you better drop it now.  Or you'll have me, an alien madman, and Chuckles back there to deal with."

 

"Oh, I don't think you three will be much of a problem.  I've brought a few friends of my own."

 















 

"STUART!"

 

"JINGLES!"

 

 

"SULLY!"

 

"And last, but not least..."

 



 

"Hello Dah-lings.  NO CAPES!"

 

Let the games begin.