Reaching The Zenith (Detroit Pt. 2)

So, we left off at the Henry Ford Museum, where Loki learned about the art of the railcar hobo...

But a god's gotta eat, right?  There were some delicious spots in Detroit to be sure, but none quite like...The Zenith.

How does one describe The Zenith?  Think of all the things god forgot.  Now put them in a restaurant that serve Latin and Soul Fusion.  That is the Zenith.  Needless to say, it was the creepiest and most AWESOME PLACE THAT EVER HAS EXISTED.

There was a room dedicated to paint-by-numbers.  A tiki bar.  A creepy clown lounge.  All with the flair of not giving a shit and having a good time.  I've never wanted to eat somewhere more.

I mean, where else are you going to find a giant peanut lamp being held up by an Egyptian servant girl?

Or have you ever sat in anatomy class, next to your model of a human eyeball, and thought "damn, that makes me want a breakfast burrito?"

Loki rounded up the troops by the dozen here.  Once he got back the circus behemoths...

"Stand aside, jesters.  You are big.  I've fought bigger."

He had his choice of noble steeds...

He definitely had his pick of courtesans, that may tend to him once the revolution is underway...

And of course scads of artwork to adorn his many palaces with.

(This next one if my personal favorite.  Such a welcoming, comforting image that makes you think of the good old days of tying grandpa - or just someone that kind of looks like grandpa - up to a chair on the front porch on a balmy summer day.)

Yes, Zenith was a magical place indeed.  A wonderland, where clowns watched over you while you ate, and doll parts were grown out of planters aplenty.

Did I mention the fucked up clowns?  I'm not even afraid of clowns, and this little room had me piddling a little.

They even were accommodating to Loki in a fashion I have yet to see, giving him his very own ocean-side view in the middle of Motor City, and a Loki-sized Piggly Wiggly.

There was even a clocktower to recreate "Back To The Future" with!

"Don't worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles an hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower... everything will be fine!"

So once the overpowering of our species begins, and you journey to the great city of Detroit to beg for clemency from our great Asgardian leader, please remember to gain your strength with a hearty meal at Zenith.  Oh, and don't go to the bathroom.

Just trust me on this.

Loki Soon To Be Featured On FanGirlNation.com!

Traversing the Ford (Detroit Pt. 1)

We made it to Detroit!!!

Our first two-week visit somewhere.  It was lovely, as we had a couch and a fridge, a rental car and Comedy Central.  Detroit is still working on returning to its former glory, some places working harder than others, though.  This put Detroit at the top of Loki's list to begin world domination.  He figures if you can buy a house for $500 here, his royal chilliness could overtake them with ease.  I tried to explain the concept of street gangs, or what 8 Mile was, but it fell upon deaf ears.

We did visit this epic gem of a museum, though.  The Henry Ford!

Oh yes.  Us at the Weinermobile.  

Hot Dog!

All White Meat Footlong.

Although I was excited to see the Ford, I had no idea just how epic it was.  Not just an automobile museum, it is the most in-depth Americana museum I've seen.  From farming equipment to the evolution of power sources, and even a whole section dedicated to the culture of the 80's complete with an average kid's bedroom from that decade (which I did NOT take a picture of.  My childhood should not be a museum exhibit.  Is that a cabbage patch doll?  Where's my wrinkle cream?)

It even held some of the most impactful and game-changing pieces of history, like Abraham Lincoln's Theatre Seat (Yup, blood all over it.  Yup.  I know.)  and the Kennedy Car.  No blood on that, but what's creepy is they used the thing for years AFTER the assassination.  If I was president, I would not want to be riding around in that!

Loki did show respect to Rosa Parks, though, as her bus was there, complete with a recording of her memories of the incident and a light inside to denote which seat it was.  We sat in it.  It was surreal.

He liked the largess of the bus.  He wrote down plans to create what sounds like a Popemobile the size of a bus.  We'll see how that works out for him.

But I digress.  Loki devoured this museum.  He wanted to know everything about America's heritage, since he is 80% sure it is where he will begin his diabolical schemes and needs to know every facet of our culture to cement the outcome of his victory.  He even did a little shopping, informing me that when we overtake Detroit he will be using this chair as his throne:

And will be playing "The War of the Worlds" every Saturday night, so that when Sunday comes around, we will all be grateful for his omniscient presence and protection, and come to worship him as the god he is meant to be.

We practiced bomb drills, should the Chitauri try to come back for him and collect:

And he jotted a few notes on cell architecture.  He feels we deserve functional, yet frugal cages should we step out of line.

Car shopping or simply discussing his options regarding transportation was of course very simple, the guests of the Ford Museum were kind enough to put together this large Model T for us before arriving:*

(The gorgeous lady beside me is Gigi - Loki's Lackey-In-Training.  Ain't she a peach?)

And we were even able to create one that was just his size.

We discovered that planes used to have wicker chairs for seats that were bolted to the floor...

...Before we took in an air stunt show.

"Come one, come all, to the one and only, DEATH-DEFYING Detroit Air Show!!!"

"Loki?"

"Silence, I am enjoying these fragile mortals play with their lives."

"Unfreeze the boy and his grandma, at least.  For Pete's sake."

"Why?  They're much quieter now.  I can hear the screams should one of these buffoons tumble to Earth."

We took in some vintage silent movies...

And with that, we bid the Ford adieu.  That would be a cool name for a car, right?  The Ford Adieu?  Classy.  Hella classy.

Since we were blessed enough to spend 2 weeks in Detroit, you will be getting TWO POSTS ON DETROIT!  Please look for Pt. 2 of our adventure, "Reaching The Zenith,"  very very soon!

*Sidenote that blows my mind - The seriously take apart that WHOLE Model T every night after closing, then have guests put it together bit by bit every morning as they reach the exhibit.  Imagine going on a school field trip, and getting to do that.  They say it takes about 30 minutes to take apart, and they take their time with the construction so several groups of guests have a chance to be involved during the day.  This is a concept of what it looks like taken apart:

Mindbending.

Loki Soon To Be Featured On FanGirlNation.com!