Sayonara in San Antonio!

So here we are!  The final week of Sister Act.  Man, it flew.  Literally.

San Antonio was very, very beautiful.  Unlike anywhere I've ever been.

It was a land of mystical fountains...and strange Itali-Mex Mosaics.

Curlicue Sculpture...

And majestic carousel ostriches.

And of course since it was one of the bloodiest battles in history, Loki simply insisted upon seeing The Alamo.

We both found it weird that somewhere made famous for its violence and sheer bravery and grit has been reduced to a tourist attraction where they sell Alamo-Shaped Animal Crackers, but I digress.

Oh, did I mention our hotel was haunted?  Again?  That makes for at least 3 on this trip.

I mean come on, it was complete with Overlook Hotel carpet.  Whoever thought that was smart clearly didn't see "The Shining," or thought it would be the most kickass prank known to man.

Personally, I am hoping for the latter.

"Come play with us..."

"Come play with us..."

"COME PLAY WITH US."

All work and no play makes Loki a dull boy.

Unfortunately, all good tales must come to an end.  Our chapter on "Sister Act" had to come to a close.  So we celebrated properly, with a classy toast of champagne...

Yeah, straight out of the bottle.  What.

And as we toddled off in the morning, we said goodbye to the city with a Texas-sized heart.

(At least I figured out where he had wandered off to the night before.)

ONTO THE NEXT ADVENTURE!!!

A Night In The Convent

Before I wrap up our adventures on the road, I had to do something special.  See, despite Loki dragging me out in the snow, sleet and blazing heat, there was a larger reason we were seeing the country that he often forgot - that I was out on my first national equity tour, which was the First National North American Tour of "Sister Act: The Musical."

Sure, the food was...digestible sometimes...

And the fashions were questionable...

All in all, it was a spiritual experience.

Loki learned many things, like how to play an instrument larger than himself,

And how to take direction from the musical director,

Not to mention how to answer a phone and other basic administrative tasks.

Yes, office life seemed to suit him.  He enjoyed the plant life...

...and also the decor.

Loki also found it important to catch himself up on one of the world's most controversial and favored religions, to see what he was up against.

Sure, he's a god and all, but is he mentioned in any of these church hymnals?

I think not.

But through this research, he learned the value of charity.

I even think he learned the value of humility, as I saw him at Curtis' club, taking drink orders.

I don't think the humility stuck, though.  You can't teach a millenia-old dog new tricks.

The Lokester did in fact enjoy the "oldies" of our time, and the brightly colored house it inhabited...

It was lovely to see him make new friends to keep in touch with once the tour was done and the non-equity peeps took over.

Penny the Penguin, you will be missed.

Freddy, on the other hand, seems to have followed us home...

Which made for an uncomfortable couple nights of sleep when I first got back.  But I'm not Frigga, I can't screen his friends.

All in all, it was an amazing experience.  Loki was not able to deter from the fact that this, all of this, from the basement to the rafters of every theater we played, was something I will cherish and not easily forget.  Thank you for making me part of your "Sister Act" family, and for changing my life.

Thanks.  Thanks Loki for reminding me.  Being your bitch is my life.

Thanks.

Loki and His Mary-Land

We apologize for leaving you bereft of our interactions for so long, dear readers.  Loki and I have been settling into life once again in the City of Angels.

It seems as soon as we get a moment to breathe, suddenly the whole week fills.  And it's maddening and absolutely wonderful all at the same time.  Mostly due to the fact that without something to keep myself busy and not a slave to the every whim of our favorite miniature egomaniac, I probably would have swallowed a knife at this point.

But I digress!  We have many a tale of the road to delight you with!  And after that, we shall be regaling you with the madness that is me juggling being a working actor and Loki's dancing monkey here in Southern California.  So come on, gentle readers!  Let us survive Baltimore!

Sweet Baby Jesus is RIGHT, Loki.  What a town.

I have nothing against Baltimore, and in fact I think it would be quite a fun little area to get to know if I had a car.  But things being what they were, I was stuck for two weeks in a haunted hotel with a bevy of locals that were either extremely sweet and polite, or absolutely insane.  I mean actually, certifiably, screaming in your face and trying to grab your purse insane.

Me and Loki found our niches, though.  Being as we were in the home of the one and only guerrilla filmmaker himself. John Waters, we simply had to stop by Atomic Books and say hello to the...erm...clientele there.  (Man?  Woman?  Garbage Pail Kid?  Still not sure, but Loki made friends with it fast.)

Our second favorite place to be was actually inside our hotel - it was a gift shop called "Sideshow."  I knew it would be love at first sight as soon as I saw this gaping maw of a clown bellowing to step inside...

Oh the sights!  Tribble card games!  Eisenhower's head charms!  Hula Girls!  Small plastic babies, and menorah sunglasses!

Plush fetuses!

 

Yep.  With heartbeats.  Only in a fancy hotel in Baltimore would a store such as this exist.

Since singular oddball experiences seemed to be the theme of the stay, we ended up visiting Loki's first "Ripley's Believe It Or Not," at the Inner Harbor.  

There, Loki encountered all the variations on art and the human condition that he could stand.

He met the world's tallest man...

Loki...didn't quite measure up.  But he's already got such a complex on being little, I let it slide.

He discovered Swarovski crystals can indeed be affixed to cars...

And yes, he discovered that the world's skinniest man can indeed spend time with a wicker motorcycle.

We knew that question has been haunting you for years.

I also got to introduce Loki to my one and true alma mater - Hogwarts!

Granted, it was a lot bigger how I remembered it, but Loki enjoyed the scale.  (Sidenote: Can you believe this???  Made entirely out of matchsticks.  Gorgeous!)

We even discovered a strange and wonderful place below Ripley's, made for someone just Loki's size.  He got to experience the thrill of trudging through a hot, smelly subway station!  Imagine that!  Dreams really do come true.

Everything was to scale.  Very impressive.  And I couldn't help but notice, as I crawled on my stomach like a soldier behind enemy lines, that the view aboveground was truly impressive.

Once again, all matchsticks.  Amazing.

Once we returned to the land of giants, Loki became quite enamored with the concept of shrunken heads.  Maybe it was because he was remind he is a runt of an ice giant, himself.

I don't know, but I will never forgive Ripley's for the helpful "How-To" video that accompanied this display, of which Loki took copious notes.

Yep, Ripley's had it all, along with many a thing I didn't know I needed to see.  Loki even got to go crown jewel shopping!

"I desire one for every day of the week, Slip of Hay.  How convenient you have brought me to a veritable trove of crowns to choose from!"

"Sure thing, Lokes.  Whatever you say.  Just know that when the alarms go off, you're on your own."

And as we rode our majestic sea dragon out and around the harbor, I couldn't help but think to myself...

What a wonderful world.

Bye, bye, Baltimore!

Check Loki Out In "Gettin' Loki," At FanGirlNation.com!