It's Only Forever...

Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you...the Labyrinth Masquerade.

Loki had fun with the...uh...

...costumes.

Labyrinth Masquerade is a massive ball in the heart of Los Angeles.  For two evenings, the world becomes a little more magical, which is right up Loki's alley being a master of illusion.

We met elven handmaidens...

Stone Wisecracks...

Earth Elementals...

And precious trolls named Lily.

We even met a mastodon.  An honest-to-god mastodon.

He was roaming around the party and everything.  Mind blown.

He got a little antsy when after a few drinks, he saw a hammer.  It took a while to calm him down.  I mean come on, he could pick it up and everything.  He knows better.  But one mug of mead too many and suddenly any carpentry tool sets him off.

Just imagine, IMAGINE how it went when he came face-to-face with himself...

I genuinely thought his tiny cranium was gonna explode by seeing a replica of himself that he did not personally create.

We even came across Mrs. Peacock, cleverly disguised as FGN's one and only editor-in-chief, Victoria Irwin!

Queen Mab and her royal charge were sad to leave the glittering fairy lights that was the masquerade, but as the world falls down, we only need to dream of next year, where once again the goblin king will open his doors.

It's not long at all...

Pizza With Pauley and the Pachyderms!

So this post is not as big as normal posts.  That's because me and Loki were too busy MEETING ELEPHANTS.

Thanks to my amazing friend Aly and her family, we got to visit the LA Zoo after hours to have Pizza with the Pachyderms!  We even got to meet them up close and personal.

Not too close, as this big boy can get grumpy from time to time.  Since he is a bull, aka a male elephant, we met him separately from the females, who loved to show off and get their toes done.

Loki tried to get as close as possible, but they insisted he stay back.  After all, he could get stepped on and squished.

The LA Zoo's Elephants of Asia exhibit is amazing.  They have several environments with all sorts of amenities that I would personally love to have - waterfalls, pools, leafy tropical shade, the works.  After we met them, we got to check out their indoor accommodations, and got a real bird's eye view during dinner...

They munched with us, although they didn't have pizza.  They were much healthier with their food choices.

Truly, it was an incredible experience and one I am truly grateful for.  These creatures are so gentle and playful, and hopefully their maternity room will be put to good use one day!  These animals are disappearing more and more each day, and we need to both protect and care for these precious pachyderms.

Oh, we also have Pizza with the Pachyderms and Pauley Perrette, did I mention that?  Abby from "NCIS?"  Did I mention that?

Well now you know.  Also try to say "Pizza and the Pachyderms with Pauley Perrette" 3 times fast.  Just go on.  I'll wait.

High Tea With Lo-Ki

Loki doesn't understand the concept of sounding British.  I keep trying to explain he speaks with the accent, but he insists that he would never speak with such a low-class affectation.  Whatever.  He liked high tea enough.  I'll just keep my mouth shut.

Neither of us have ever been to a high tea before, and McKenna's Tea Cottage in Long Beach was gracious enough to have us stop by.  It was so peaceful, so lovely, And the hats...

Does anyone still wear a hat?

Anything?

Anything?

The three people out there that follow musical theatre just laughed their asses off.

Anyway, it was a say something hat day.  The two people who like "Too Wong Foo" just fell under the table.

Loki kept himself busy with all the books strewn about, And he was able to keep track of time thanks to the amazingly whimsical clock collection...

Look at the Dali clock, isn't that just the bee's knees?

I also got the oh-so-distinguished pleasure of discovering the way that his royal highness takes his tea.  Trust me, it was an honor.  Loki assured me of that.

I had to keep him in line a little, as the china was very delicate, and Loki does like to decimate many a structure that he comes across.  He got a little too close to his teapot for my liking, for example.

In the end, we were able to leave the lovely little tea cottage without total annihilation.  He seemed to enjoy everything, just as a proper British nobleman would, but I wouldn't tell him that.

Seriously.  Keep your mouth shut.  For all our sakes.

Up All Night To Get Spooky

Welcome...to ScareLA.

ScareLA is the fastest growing horror and haunt convention in Southern California.  It's at least doubled since its first year in 2013, and everything is bigger and better than ever before.

Needless to say, Loki had no idea what the fuck.  Seriously.

I'm pretty sure Loki would rather ritualistically cut himself with a butter knife than EVER tell me he was scared.  He spends so much time crowing about being the true heir of Asgard that he thinks I didn't see his knees knocking anytime he saw one of these horrific aberrations.  By the end of the day, he was trying to hide in pieces of sets so I would show him any more.

Since I was in my element, I couldn't have given a shit.  Seriously.

I mean come ON, I love mermaids, wouldn't you be excited as hell to meet a mermaid?

Loki wasn't.

Well, how about a clown?  Everybody LOVES a clown, right?  There's no reason to be scared of a happy, joy-filled clown...

Forget I said anything.

I thought maybe he'd like to get his fortune told, find out when he'd become the rightful king of Asgard and ruler of the nine realms...would perk him up a little, right?

Oops.  Wrong.

Maybe an eagle-eyed view would help?

Seems Loki has developed a fear of heights..don't know how that POSSIBLY could have happened...maybe in New York, or maybe that one time he fell into an abyss of existence...

He did discover the magic of Froggy's Fog, though, as they had a fog to match his eyes...something tells me this palace he keeps yammering on about is going to be filled with these things, so he can literally have blow smoke up his ass anytime he enters a room.

All in all, it was good weekend.  For me at least.  But in the end, Loki got the last laugh, like always.

Turns out the monsters didn't know what to do with him either.

Los Asgard

*Sings "Welcome Back, Kotter" theme*

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back...

Red Robin thinks you're tops!

Frankly, I haven't done much since returning to the City of Angels.  A city Loki vehemently demands to be renamed "Lok-Angeles," but that ain't gonna happen anytime.

For one, it sounds dumb.  Yeah, I said it.  What.

I have to say, though, Loki has been treating me like a princess.  He went and got my hair done as soon as we were back!

Which was good, because both of us needed new headshots!  Got turn it out, my friends.  And trust me.  Shit got TURNT.

Look at that GQ-Lookin' mother fucker.  No, I'm not jealous.  No, I'm not angry.  No, I'm not shaking.

SHUT UP.

I have picture anxiety.

With headshots out of the way, that only left auditioning my face off.  And boy, am I among some greats.

We ran into the bard himself, William Shakespeare, as I auditioned to be Mama Pig in a "Three Little Pigs" musical...

And what trip to SoCal would be complete without running into Jack Benny?

We even went to an audition in a church!  Loki was thrilled, as he finally had discovered a place where he didn't have to scream and demand and maim to get people to kneel.

With all the running around, caffiene has been sorely needed to refuel.  And so what better place to do that than at the chillest coffee spot with gorgeous cobra commander art on the wall?

Welcome.  To Moby's Coffee and Tea Company.

Where you can get coffee in mason jars, and you HAVE to try the "Sweet Lady Grey."  Trust me on this.

Say hi to Jennifer and Patrick when you get there, and be sure to check out the TARDIS teapot and various other nerdy gems settled throughout.  And seriously, everything is tasty, from the espresso to the smore'eo frozen drinks.

Well, I am off to try and un-screw my computer's audio.  I'd ask Loki to help, but he just waves his hands at it, then tells me his magic is being interfered with by the route of technology this primitive machine is based on.

Whatever.

Sayonara in San Antonio!

So here we are!  The final week of Sister Act.  Man, it flew.  Literally.

San Antonio was very, very beautiful.  Unlike anywhere I've ever been.

It was a land of mystical fountains...and strange Itali-Mex Mosaics.

Curlicue Sculpture...

And majestic carousel ostriches.

And of course since it was one of the bloodiest battles in history, Loki simply insisted upon seeing The Alamo.

We both found it weird that somewhere made famous for its violence and sheer bravery and grit has been reduced to a tourist attraction where they sell Alamo-Shaped Animal Crackers, but I digress.

Oh, did I mention our hotel was haunted?  Again?  That makes for at least 3 on this trip.

I mean come on, it was complete with Overlook Hotel carpet.  Whoever thought that was smart clearly didn't see "The Shining," or thought it would be the most kickass prank known to man.

Personally, I am hoping for the latter.

"Come play with us..."

"Come play with us..."

"COME PLAY WITH US."

All work and no play makes Loki a dull boy.

Unfortunately, all good tales must come to an end.  Our chapter on "Sister Act" had to come to a close.  So we celebrated properly, with a classy toast of champagne...

Yeah, straight out of the bottle.  What.

And as we toddled off in the morning, we said goodbye to the city with a Texas-sized heart.

(At least I figured out where he had wandered off to the night before.)

ONTO THE NEXT ADVENTURE!!!