Not much happened in Grand Rapids.
This is why.
But Loki refused to disappoint his gentle, appreciative followers. I think it's because he thinks he is the only sort of true entertainment for us meager lifeforms. Who knows. All I know is it was cold, our hotel wasn't paying its employees and it took 20 minutes after you parked to get into the theater. I'm not kidding.
It was also in single digits and even the Ice King here couldn't figure out why the women were constantly dressed in skirts that only cupped their butts for dear life and 6-inch spike heels that were never meant to touch ice, snow, salt, carpet, tile, or any other surface that might make you walk like a newborn calf.
But I will tell you what, Grand Rapids has some talented people! Check out Loki's latest virgin bride!
That is a cake completely handmade by one of the ushers at the theater featuring our very own Delores Van Cartier! Complete with fondant heart tabard and rope belt! Way, way too epic and cool.
I also got to introduce Loki to the my guiltiest of pleasures...Tim Horton Ice Caps.
Oh, it's hazelnutty goodness. How I missed thee. But other than that, I basically left Loki's demands unheeded as I trekked from theater to hotel and back. I think the extreme cold is finally shattering my sanity. For instance, this is my reaction when I came home to find my bed made one day...
I rest my case.
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